I am learning to accept what is. Not the story that I create, but what is true. It all starts with a thought. A fleeting passing thought enters the brain and it is completely harmless until I believe it. It is not my thoughts that are the issue, but my attachment to my thoughts. Once I attach to it, I believe it to be true and after a few years it becomes ingrained. It is my belief. It makes me who I am, but is it true? Our lives are made up of stories we tell ourselves and we believe them to be true, but what if they aren’t?
In the book, Loving What Is by Byron Katie, the author suggests that when thoughts come into your head and you attach to those thoughts that you should really ask yourself the following 4 Questions.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it is true?
- How do you react when you think that thought?
- Who would you be without that thought?
And then turn it around.
I’ve always heard that perception is reality. My entire experience on this planet is determined by how I choose to perceive my reality. Life is just an illusion created by my perception and it can be changed the moment I choose to change it. Whatever I choose to focus on becomes my reality. So why focus on the negative or false thoughts?
Lastnight I allowed myself to attach to false thoughts and began believing them. I ended up in tears talking about how I felt like I was a bad mom, a horrible wife, and not a very good friend.
- So… Are those statements true? In the moment.. YES! They felt very true!
- Can I absolutely know they are true? Do I have concrete evidence that supports those statements? No, not really. I can give many examples of how I am a good wife and mom and friend.
- How do I react when I think that thought? Overwhelmed, sad, and like I am a failure at life.
- Who would I be without that thought? Happier, a better mom, wife, and friend. Fulfilled.
Turnaround… I am a great wife. I am a great mom. I am a really good friend. Those statements are the reality. That is what I choose to focus on and repeat to myself because those statements make me a better wife, mom, and friend… and a happier more fulfilled person.
I want to accept what is because when I argue with reality I only hurt myself and those around me. It doesn’t mean I have to condone or approve of it, but that I can let go of the inner struggle. In the words of the Greek philosopher, Epictetus “We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our own thoughts about what happens.”
I hope that this inspires you to question your thoughts… your perception of reality and focus on what is true. If perception is reality… and life is just an illusion created by our own perception…why not change your perception and create a reality that is totally amazing! It is your LIFE!
We may not be able to control what happens to us. Nothing in life is permanent. But we can control how we choose to react and let it affect our life. That we have control over.